I’m going to be real with y’all for a minute. We can handle that on this blog, because authenticity is one of the things that I’m passionate about.
Honestly, my spiritual life hasn’t been in the best shape lately. My doubts have been stronger than my faith. My fear has been intense. My depression has been crippling. I haven’t really been spending time in the Word, listening to sermons, reading books, listening to worship music, spending time with community, writing blog posts or lyrics, or even leaving my house that much. I thought that I’ve been too far gone for God to meet me where I am.
Once again, God continues to prove me WRONG. I was listening to a podcast tonight after an exhausting day of constantly being bombarded with dark thoughts and doubts that I needed to work through. That’s where God really broke through to a hardened heart that needed a breakthrough.
That podcast was about the story of Naaman. Naaman was a mighty warrior, but he had leprosy. Leprosy was a life-threatening disease back then that ate away at your cells and eventually led to you losing body parts. However, a servant of Naaman’s wife said a prophet could heal him in Samaria. Admitting you had leprosy back in that day cost you everything. Naaman would lose his reputation, friends, job, etc…EVERYTHING. After asking the King of Israel to heal Him, He eventually went to the prophet. However, the prophet sent Him a messenger…a messenger. Naaman was PISSED…however, that messenger gave Naaman instructions that he initially didn’t follow. However, Naaman did follow them and was eventually healed because of His obedience.
The speaker used the story of Naaman to show us the struggle that He went through and that he didn’t have anyone to relate to. Nobody knew what Naaman went through, we don’t even fully know. However God knows. That’s where God met me at tonight. God was able to show me that I was NOT ALONE in my suffering. He sees everything I’m going through and I’m deeply loved and cared for by Him. My depression & suffering do NOT define me. However, He defines me by calling me His own.
Even in the midst of doubt, we can still take a step of faith towards God. That could be a small as spending more time with God or as big as sharing the Gospel with people. I believe that God has uniquely gifted each of us with stories that bring Him glory. I believe that right now, God has placed me where I am to share my story to a campus that is hurting to give hope to a hurting group of people. God has placed me where I am to share the love of Christ with those who are desperately searching to be satisfied everywhere but in Him. Right now, taking a step of faith towards God for me looks like taking my mental health seriously, coming to Him with everything, and working on plans for reaching the campus next semester as a small group leader.
We may want to see lives changed immediately. We want revival. We want people to see the hope of Jesus. However, Matthew 6 speaks about God being a provider. He provides us with what we need, so we don’t need to worry about the process. His Word tells us “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Prayerfully take a step out in faith. See where God takes you. Find people to hold you accountable.